Building Resilience in School and Beyond

10/30/2025

At Winston Preparatory School, we talk about resilience as the ability to recover from or adjust to difficult conditions, including misfortune or unexpected change, and bounce back. A child develops resiliency by working through a struggle while retaining their positive self-image and view of the world. They also learn something from the situation that will help them in the future.

Learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable.

It is our hope that, over time and with remediation, our students will struggle less, yet emerge with the ability to grapple with the discomfort and challenge that they will inevitably face over their lifetime.

We help our students learn how to struggle, be comfortable with the uncomfortable, and handle failure. We work to develop our students' resilience when they are ready by strategically placing them in situations where they can struggle and persevere.

Whether that struggle emerges on a camping trip in West Virginia, reading a difficult passage in the daily 1:1 Focus class, facing a challenging social situation in the lunchroom, or working through a new problem in the math classroom, Winston Prep teachers are always focused on allowing students to struggle with difficulties and equipping them with the skills and strategies to overcome them.

We teach the difference between an external and internal locus of control. Internal locus of control means taking responsibility for what happens in your life. External locus of control means believing that fate, luck, or other people’s behavior are to blame in a given situation. Having an internal locus of control strengthens a person's ability to be resilient.

At Winston Prep, we discuss the importance of resilience. We encourage the development of it in every classroom, Focus space, experiential education trip, and building hallway. This helps our students understand that they each have the capacity to bounce back from the inevitable struggles, challenges, and failures they will face in life.

As our Executive Director, Scott Bezsylko, frequently reminds Winston Prep faculty, “we go on sailing trips to learn how to handle the storms, not to enjoy the calm seas”.

At home, it is important to model positive coping skills with everyday stressors and more significant struggles and setbacks.

Share past setbacks and what you learned from them with your child so that they can learn to appreciate that everyone encounters struggle.

Talk about positive coping strategies that work for you.

Here are a few examples of positive coping strategies:

Talking to a friend about something you are struggling with
Going for a walk after a trying day
Listening to music
Grabbing a hot cocoa from your favorite cafe
Organizing your desk
Taking a step back by reframing the difficult situation as if it happened to your best friend instead of you, changing your perspective

What works for you might not work for your child - everyone is different. But sharing that there are things you’ve noticed that help you shift your mood and help you bounce back gives them ideas to try.

When you share how you use these strategies, you help make discomfort feel normal. This also encourages your child to notice what works for them. Reflecting on past situations and discussing positive coping strategies whether in the moment or in a reflective way, is helpful.

Offer praise when your child demonstrates the ability to keep at something even though it's difficult.

Offer praise when you see your child bounce back after struggling. Use clear language in your praise. This helps them see their actions as a lesson in resilience.

Example: "I know you were really looking forward to tonight. It is understandable to feel disappointed that the carnival was rained out. I’m so proud of you for bouncing back from that unexpected change in plans and enjoying a movie at home instead of letting it ruin your whole night."

There is growth in struggle.

Allow your child to experience setbacks and emphasize that it's okay to feel disappointed, sad, or irritated that something didn't work out or is hard. Instead of fixing the problem yourself or preventing the struggle in the first place, offer guidance through open-ended questions to think through the situation, bounce back, and learn.

Listen.

Feeling heard and understood deepens relationships. It may be tempting to offer suggestions or give advice when your child is feeling discomfort. The need to protect and repair is such a strong impulse for so many of us when it comes to the children we love.

In addition to modeling healthy coping strategies and instances of resilience, simply listening, free from preconceived ideas, and reflecting back what was shared can be a powerful tool in supporting your child in developing and demonstrating resilience.

Knowing that you have someone you can share both successes and failures with, someone who listens without judgment, but with curiosity and empathy, is often a surefire way to recover from challenges.

Want to learn more about Winston Prep?

From coast to coast, Winston Preparatory School is creating places, physically and virtually, where neurodivergent learners feel understood and supported. Unlike other learning models and programs, students are grouped by learning profile, and students engage in daily 1:1 instruction. Classes are intentionally small, allowing teachers to work closely with students, adapt instruction in real time, and foster meaningful connections.

This individualization, combined with social-emotional learning and essential skill development, leads to clear improvements in academic achievement, resilience, and connections with others. While this approach may feel new, Winston Prep’s methods are rooted in years of evidence-based research and proven practice.

Join us for an upcoming open house to start your admissions journey. Visit winstonprep.edu/open-houses.

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