Bullied: Preventing and Responding

4/20/2026

Bullying can have long-term effects on the mental health and well-being of young people. Someone who experiences bullying is more than twice as likely to develop depression and/or anxiety.

Those who are most vulnerable are more likely to be targets.

Bullying Statistics

One out of every three teens, ages 12-17, reports being bullied each year. Considering that bullying is only disclosed about half the time, that 34% statistic(1) is likely an underestimation. The risk increases significantly if your child falls within the 12-14 year age range. Additional risk factors may occur if your child identifies within the LGBTQ+ community, is a girl, or has a learning or developmental disability. Anything that makes a child seem ‘different’ from others increases their risk.

Identify ‘Gateway Behaviors’

Small behaviors can often signal the beginning of bullying patterns. If you can recognize them early on, there’s a chance you can prevent bullying behavior from developing down the road. Here are some of the key behaviors you should take notice of and respond to(2):

Eye rolling
Prolonged staring
Back turning
Laughing cruelly/encouraging others to laugh
Name-calling
Ignoring or excluding
Stalking or spying

Other signs may include aggressive behaviors, spreading rumors, or a lack of empathy.

It is important to respond to and interrupt these gateway behaviors immediately. This could mitigate the likelihood of them growing into something more.

Prevent Bullying at School: Explicitly Teach Social Responsibility & Self-Advocacy

When students are able to approach ideas and problems from multiple perspectives, they’re less likely to bully others. To help prevent bullying, we must find ways to help children and teens understand and appreciate their identity as well as others. This requires empathy and kindness.

Promote a connected community among peers and teach students how to be an upstander. For students who are witnesses to bullying, equip them with the tools to recognize harassment and take action.

Do this through model responses. Use curriculum resources and role-play how to stand up to hate speech, bias, and bullying behavior. These resources could come in the form of literature, short stories, historical events, news articles, or movie clips.

Keep in mind these key points:

Cultivate abilities to self-advocate and advocate on behalf of others.
Use academic content to identify bullying behavior and build an understanding of varying perspectives.
Highlight the reality for those who have experienced bullying and how it might impact their daily lives.
Provide examples of what it looks like to advocate for yourself and/or others.

How to Prepare at Home

Be sure your child understands what bullying is. Ask them if they’ve ever witnessed or experienced such behavior. Talk to them about how to recognize the different types of bullying.

Children with learning disabilities might be able to identify physical bullying, but the more nuanced (and far more common) forms of verbal and relational, or social bullying, can be abstract and harder to recognize. Using scenarios from movies can be a helpful way to develop awareness of social situations that are not okay.

Talk about power imbalance.

This concept can be difficult for kids with learning disabilities because levels of ‘power’ are nuanced and can be inconsistent. Power imbalances can look like physical size or strength differences, popularity status, or even knowledge of compromising information.

Practice simple scripted responses so that children feel more in control if harassment or bullying does occur, whether it’s aimed at them or someone else.

All kids, but especially students with learning disabilities, will have difficulty responding in a bullying situation. Rehearsing a few phrases to disarm a bully while remaining calm can help them feel more confident.

Have guided discussions about what to do and when, if and how to respond, when to walk away, and identify a few trusted adults to help.

Cyberbullying

Students who experience bullying online might face significant emotional distress. Online bullying can occur at any time and is usually harder for parents to detect. This form of bullying often happens on social media or text messaging.

Talk about how to respond to cyberbullying. For students who might be experiencing cyberbullying, urge them not to respond and show a trusted adult. Make sure you have ongoing discussions about how to be safe online.

If your child is a victim of cyberbullying, be sure to document instances of bullying with screenshots and block the cyberbully if possible. Report content or misuse to the social media platform and reach out to the school if it is a classmate.

If there are threats being made or possible illegal activity, report the incident to the police department as well.

The more adults speak up, the more kids will do the same.

Whether you are in a school building, on a playground, at home, or out and about, consistently speak up against bullying. Letting just one comment or behavior go left ignored says: it’s ok to say things like that to everyone within earshot.

When interrupting, remain calm, thoughtful, firm, and confident. Do your best not to react with shock or judgment.

Example phrases:

I’m surprised to hear you say that.
Did you mean to say something hurtful when you said that?
Using that word doesn’t help others feel safe or accepted here.

It’s also important to support those who do speak up. You might say, “I have a lot of respect for you speaking up like that. You did the right thing,” to a teen who interrupted an instance of exclusion with her peers. Speaking up not only addresses what was said, but you are also providing a model that can inspire others who are nearby.

Supporting Your Child

Check in with them on how they’re feeling, who their friends are, and how school is going. Engaged discussions can help you identify the signs of bullying in your child's life.

Notice if they have unexplained injuries, if their belongings go missing, or if they feel ill on school nights or mornings. Take note of their device use and be tuned into any changes in frequency or emotional response when using their device.

If your child is being bullied, assure them that they are not to blame and be mindful of your response to the situation. Showing anger or sadness in response to something your child shares might prevent them from coming to you in the future.

Jumping in to ‘fix’ the situation can also backfire, worsening your child’s feelings of helplessness. Staying calm, actively listening, and validating their feelings helps your child feel supported. Gently discuss next steps. Ask your child what would make them feel comfortable and safe. Contact your school to work together to come up with a support plan.

If you notice your child’s sleeping, eating, or general activity habits or demeanor have negatively shifted, contact a mental health provider.

Suggested Resources

StopBullying.gov

Laws, Policies & Regulations | StopBullying.gov

Common Sense Media

Child Mind Institute

Haile G, Arockiaraj B, Zablotsky B, Ng AE. Bullying victimization among teenagers: United States, July 2021–December 2023. NCHS Data Brief, no 514. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2024. DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.15620/cdc/168510.
Youth Engagement Network. (2022, October 7). Preventing Bullying in the Classroom: 10 Proactive Tips for Educators. https://www.etr.org/yen/news/preventing-bullying-in-the-classroom-10-proactive-tips-for-educators.

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